Май 2012 25

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What do women say and what do they really mean?

Fine.

This is the word women use to end up an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “Fine” to describe how a woman looks – this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

 

Five minutes.

This means half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it is an even game.

 

Nothing.

This means “something” and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five minutes” and end with “Nothing”.

 

Go ahead (with raised eyebrows).

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” end will end with the word “Fine”.

 

Go ahead (with normal eyebrows).

This means “I give up” or “Do what you want to do, I don’t care”. You will get a “Raised eyebrow go ahead” in just five minutes, followed by “Nothing”, “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five minutes” as she cools off.

 

Loud sigh.

This is not actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at the moment, and wonders why is she wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

 

Soft sigh.

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft sigh” means that she is content (satisfied). Your best bet is not to move or breathe.

 

That’s OK.

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s OK” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you’ve done.

 

Please do.

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you’ve done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get “That’s OK”.

 

Thanks.

A woman is thanking you. Don’t faint. Just say you’re welcome.

 

Thanks a lot.

This is much different from “Thanks”. A woman will say “Thanks a lot” when she is really furious. It means that you have offended her in e very serious way, and will be followed by the “Loud sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing”.

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